TYPHOID MARY

I used to be a healthy guy.
I got sick maybe once a year. You know, your typical seasonal cold, good for 5 days of runny nose and itchy eyes, and then back to normal; or in my case what passes for normal.
But now I have had 3 colds and a sinus infection in the past 10 weeks. This may cause you to ask; “Dude, what is going on with you?”
And I would answer; “Dude, I live with Typhoid Mary.”
Actually her name is Vivienne Esperanza Finn and she is a total germ factory. Although she never gets sick herself – just like the original Typhoid Mary – she is something much worse; a carrier. In fact, she is an aircraft carrier of viral illness; sending out squadrons of deadly microbes in search of uninfected victims to contaminate.
Since she is 14 months old and as yet possesses absolutely no social graces, when she sneezes she just lets fly. And, brother, when you are bending over the changing table and catch one of her sneezes right in your kisser and feel the bacteria-laden droplets spraying across your mouth, nose and eyes; well then, brother, you will know that you are well and truly screwed. Because within 24 hours you will feel a tickle in your nostril and shortly thereafter the sneezing and waterworks will begin.
In order to prevent all of the above, I have resorted to using a saline nasal rinse once a day, taking pro-biotics daily and chewing Vitamin C tablets twice a day.
Lucky me, I am going to get a real-time test of how all this proactive prevention works, because this morning Typhoid Mary came down with her first head cold. As I look at her now, she has snot running down her nose and she is sneezing non-stop. I am wearing one of those white masks you see on the denizens of Tokyo when the smog gets really bad. I wash my hands frantically after being near her.
Now, do you think any of this is going to actually work? Am I going to get out of the next four days of child care scot-free? Or should I say, germ free? Could all my ministrations possibly protect me from this germ laden little factory of snot? Do I like my odds?
Nah.